At month 37—around three years and one month—many parents hit a stage that feels surprisingly harder than what came before. Not because something is “wrong,” but because their child is standing squarely in the tension between wanting total independence and still needing a lot of support. The result? Power struggles that can turn even the simplest moments into emotional marathons.
One of the defining pain points of month 37 is the child’s intense drive for autonomy. This is the age of “I do it myself,” paired with equally intense frustration when things don’t go exactly as imagined. Getting dressed, choosing a snack, leaving the playground, brushing teeth—tasks that once felt manageable now seem to invite resistance, negotiation, or outright refusal.
Parents often find themselves asking:
- Why is everything a battle?
- Am I being too strict—or not strict enough?
- Why does my child melt down over such small things?
These questions make sense. Month 37 can feel like a sudden escalation in emotional intensity, even for parents who felt confident navigating toddlerhood before.
What’s Happening Developmentally
At this stage, a child’s sense of self is rapidly expanding. They’re becoming more aware of their preferences, opinions, and power to influence outcomes. Language skills are stronger, imagination is vivid, and their desire to make decisions feels urgent and non-negotiable.
But emotional regulation hasn’t caught up yet.
A three-year-old can want control without having the skills to manage disappointment, compromise, or frustration. When their autonomy is blocked—or even just delayed—it can feel catastrophic to them. That’s why a parent saying “not yet” or “I’ll help you” can trigger outsized reactions.
In other words, your child isn’t trying to be difficult. They’re practicing being a person.
Why This Stage Is So Hard on Parents
The real pain point at month 37 isn’t just the child’s behavior—it’s how relentless it feels for the parent.
- You’re constantly setting boundaries.
- You’re offering choices that still get rejected.
- You’re trying to stay calm while running late, feeling watched, or doubting yourself.
- You may feel like your parenting skills should be improving by now—yet this phase feels harder, not easier.
Many parents also feel emotionally triggered. Power struggles can activate old feelings about control, obedience, or being challenged. It’s exhausting to hold firm limits while also staying warm and empathetic, especially when the day is filled with small confrontations.
The Core Tension: Limits vs. Agency
The heart of the month 37 struggle is this question:
How do I support my child’s growing independence without turning every day into a fight?
Children this age need both clear boundaries and meaningful choices. Too many limits feel suffocating; too much freedom feels overwhelming. Parents are walking a narrow bridge—offering autonomy within structure—and that takes constant emotional regulation on the adult’s part.
This is why month 37 can feel like such hard work. You’re not just managing behavior; you’re modeling calm, flexibility, and leadership while your child pushes against the edges.
A Reframe That Helps
Instead of viewing power struggles as failures, it can help to see them as practice rounds. Your child is learning:
- “What happens when I assert myself?”
- “Can I disagree and still be safe?”
- “Will my parent hold the boundary without disconnecting from me?”
Each struggle is information, not a verdict on your parenting.
What Parents Need at Month 37
More than advice, parents need:
- Validation that this stage is genuinely hard
- Permission to simplify expectations
- Support in holding limits without escalating
- Reassurance that this phase is developmentally appropriate and temporary
Month 37 is not about “fixing” your child. It’s about guiding them through a surge of independence with steadiness and compassion—while remembering that you, too, are allowed to find this stage challenging.
If it feels hard, that’s because it is! And you’re not alone.
